Philly Fright – Finding Thrills and Chills All Year Long

PA Ren Faire

January 10, 2019 By Ben Reisman

“My good sir! My dear Madame!” Right from the get-go, the dialect pretty much goes like this, along with crazy costumes, props and cleavage galore at the PA Ren Faire. Although, this is not regarded as a scary, Halloween-type event that would typically appear on my site, it has enough cross-over appeal to gain attention from at least some of my faithful regulars.

I attended this with my girlfriend Kate. My buddy Joel met us there and brought his wife Jenn, and their two teenage children. Joel is always up for a good time, but Jenn really took the experience to heart with a full era-appropriate costume. She had purchased the dress the year before (pictured below).

Just a quick jaunt from the Lebanon–Lancaster exit of the PA Turnpike (#266) is a fantasy time-capsule, encapsulated in the no-name town of Manheim. The parking lot goes on forever, and I am sure it is always packed no matter what day you attend. The fun begins while maneuvering your car amid the distractions of staggering attendees dressed in all sorts of Olde Age costume….from the hand-crafted to the mass-manufactured. Either way, cleavage abounds! It is highly recommended that you come dressed for the period to really get the total experience. I didn’t have any such garb, but did I unfortunately have a medieval-style toothache which could not be treated until the middle of the following week! The pain was exacerbated by the sight of antiquated blacksmith tools, and the knowledge that living in that era meant your blacksmith was also your dentist. With my uncontrollably vivid imagination, I pictured myself sitting on top of an iron anvil as a blacksmith took a steel rod and a hammer to my tooth. Please, no comments regarding any phallic implications of this unwanted visual.

With Halloween being my favorite holiday, and this visit only 10 days before the 31^st, I was pleased to see the entrance was well-decorated with pumpkins and a host of other varieties of squash/gourds. This would be their Halloween Daze and Spooky Knights II weekend. On the schedule, this was described as a “weekend of mayhem with spooky creatures of every variety haunting the shire”. I saw maybe one person on stilts dressed as a spooky creature, which was pretty cool. The rest of it was more or less stationary-type decorative stuff. Fine with me though. I didn’t come to the Faire expecting Eastern State Penitentiary.

U.S. currency will do you no good here, except to purchase your admission ticket. Once inside, you must exchange your money for replica coins of Olde English pounds I guess? I was surprised the website doesn’t really make mention of this. With these coins, you are enabled to purchase food and beverages. I just remember spending $40 on an even conversion rate of loose gold coins which I barely used. I think I may have used one coin on a bowl of soup. I was eyeing up the turkey legs and cold beer, but of course the damn toothache prevented any chance of that happening.

Guys and gals who love speaking in early-English dialect with stock phrases like those in the intro, will no doubt enjoy a bonding experience. It was fun to see the comradery among these folk and the lengths at which the banter is sustained.

Towards the end of the day, we were sitting off to the side as a person dressed almost entirely in a fur costume walks by. Kate inquires what on earth that is, and Joel quickly identifies it as a “furry”. None of us were familiar with the term, and he went on to explain that there is a contingent of people who only feel comfortable in their skin while wearing animal skin/fur. As with many under-the-radar groups like this (Bronies, Cosplayers, etc), it has been suggested that their costumes are tied to sexual fetishism, and this is when they are at their best. I honestly don’t know, nor do I really care. Joel wrapped up his furry infomercial by mentioning a recent Furry convention in California. Apparently, one of the adjoining host hotels featured a larger than life litterbox for their guests to use and live out their dream of defecating in public just as an animal would. At this point, the toothache was really getting on my nerves.

Speaking of Joel, I almost forgot the showdown between him and Jenn. There is a mini-arena where 2 people get dressed as soldiers with swords and duel it out in front of the crowd (for a fee). Joel wanted me to be his adversary, but I preferred to document the action, and suggested he and Jenn go at it. From a distance, each pair of people battling it out is a pretty cool-looking spectacle. Upon closer observation, the scene becomes a little sillier as the battle is only an effort to stab at three black balloons fastened on to various parts of each other’s body.

The balloon attachment begins

You may not swipe, swing or swat the sword on each other, mind you….only poking. Jenn proved to be the better poker as she poked out all Joel’s balloons in less than 60 seconds.

Jenn is victorious

Definitely a shameful performance on Joel’s part, but I give him credit for the effort regardless of his 3 flaccid balloons.

Kate is not sure what to make of what she just saw

This is a family-friendly event which no-doubt cashes-in on anyone young or old with the vaguest Renaissance interest (me) to hardcore fans who circle their calendars months in advance, and make it part of their summer routine. The payoff is worthwhile though, with some visuals I was not expecting, fun sing-along songs, and some well-orchestrated jousting at the end. I wish I had as strong an interest in something (well, anything), as some of the attendees did in this event.

I have heard of more adult-oriented similar events. One by the name of “Pennsic”, I believe? An ex-girlfriend informed me that this was a closed, invite-only, more scandalous type of event. Nudity abounds, and apparently raucous, beer-fueled orgies are not entirely out of the realm of possibilities. She didn’t elaborate too much on the specific goings-on, but she did have pictures to prove her attendance. A quick google search does turn up some vague details on Pennsic, and it confirms the fact that this one is invite-only, and the general public is discouraged from coming around uninvited. So if the Ren Faire gets old, and you have a thirst for something more hardcore, I guess try and find a Pennsic member and make friends with them.

Admittedly, the bad timing of the toothache prevented me from fully enjoying the event. It was my first time experiencing such tooth pain which was capable of overpowering Advil, Tylenol, gum-numbing agents and Whiskey. If I can manage to keep track of my sack of leftover gold coins, I will definitely make every effort to attend in the summer of ’19.

Creepy Boyertown, PA Visit 01/28/2018

February 26, 2018 By Ben Reisman

Last weekend I took a trip out to one of my favorite previous destinations….Boyertown, PA. Considered by Charles Adams III to be one of one of the most haunted small towns in the U.S., that feeling really comes across when you enter the town. This most recent trip was initiated by a meetup with a collector of fine 80’s horror items right on the outskirts. Those of you who know me are already familiar with my love of old horror movies on pretty much any media format. This gentleman had a fine collection of over 50 horror VHS tapes and a couple of Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees action figures, which I was happy to buy from him. After that was over, I decided to venture into town for the first time in 4 years. Entering the town by way of 73, I noticed there were some distant hills which were surrounded by fog. I immediately felt the familiarity from doing the Ghost Walk last time I was there. This time was different in that it was in the middle of the afternoon, but no less creepy. I decided I would pull over and attempt a self-guided tour up and down Philadelphia Ave and take some pictures. Although the pictures do not completely capture the creepy atmosphere of that cool foggy day, they do a convincing job of painting the vibe you could expect to feel in one of the most haunted small towns in America.

The afternoon was exceptionally quiet as I parked the car across the street from Durango’s and set out on my expedition. I was hoping to stop in and enjoy a mid-afternoon brew, but much to my dismay, they weren’t yet open that time of day. As I ventured up the steep hill in the center of town, I was particularly taken by the way the fog laid around the distant hills. The more I walked around, the more notable the silence was, and the fact that there were so few people around….almost as though they knew some kind of dark secret about the fog and knew better than to be out in it. I took the opportunity to take several pictures along the main street and side streets. Memories of the ghost walk continued to come back to me. I revisited all the same spots….the Boyertown Historical Society building, the Rhodes Opera House and of course, Durangos. I thought back to the night of the tour and how surreal it was to see our tour guide keel over from heat exhaustion (more on that in the Boyertown Ghost Walk )

As I continued up Philadelphia Ave, I was surprised to find a very large graveyard which was not featured in the ghost walk.

Fairview Cemetary

As if the self-guided tour wasn’t creepy enough with the fog and the empty streets….here was a massively laid out cemetery right before me!

This was only the second time I had been to this area, so there is still a lot of the town I have not seen. The views of the cemetery and the view from it were both very striking. See for yourself!

The Haunting of Elk’s Lodge–Bridgeport, PA

October 31, 2016 By Ben Reisman

The Elks Lodge of Bridgeport is reportedly haunted, and mysterious things are said to occur on pretty much any given day of the year. In October, they go all out and customize their creepy basement into a terrorizing haunted maze with performers at every turn. When Kate and I arrived, they had hit a dead spot in their flow of guests and a sinister, brown-cloaked ghoul asked if we wouldn’t mind waiting to see if more people would be along for the walk-through. We assumed he would be leading the tour. Waiting a couple minutes was fine with us, and it gave us a chance to take in the the horrific landscaping on the outside grounds, such as tombstones, cobwebs, impaled heads and severed arms.Some poor creature was elaborately hooked up to some wires on the front porch, purportedly for the purpose of electrocuting it. As we took a few minutes to observe these lovely sights, our cloaked leader decided the hell with it, and told us it would just be the two of us walking through! He then said he needed to go in and check to see if everyone was ready at their stations for our walk-through. After we were abandoned on the front porch area, it suddenly seemed a lot more quiet and darker than it did a minute ago. Then we noticed something odd……some banging on the entrance door coming from the inside of the place. Already this was a unique scenario where the antagonists are inside a house, and in the real world, common sense fight or flight logic would prompt you to just walk away. We just kind of stared in confusion at these gruesome faces looking out the side window, as they made beckoning motions. I remembered being told to just stay where I was though, so a miscommunication on the ghoul’s part may have resulted in a prolonged start. Finally someone actually opened the door and waved us in. Traversing through the maze was a little confusing at times when our cloaked leader would mysteriously disappear. He would always reappear just in time to divert us away from the unauthorized areas we were heading. Of course we got lots of one on one attention, but the performers were also conscientious enough not to be too overbearing. There is one encounter with a lady sitting on top of some kind of platform, where your only option to proceed is to crawl underneath her through some tiny wooden passage way. Its just a little bit claustrophobic and a little bit of a nuisance, but its no big deal. Kind of like ducking underneath a fence. Through the entire tour, the guide held up a camera taking non-stop pictures of our reactions. Some guests may not have noticed this due to the nonstop action from all different directions. Your peripheral vision gets a good workout here. Anyway, not sure where the pictures are going. I did try and find them on the Elk’s website, but to no avail. Being in a group of two gives you way more attention than you bargained for……..so much, that at times you can feel obligated to make small talk with the workers when they stop screaming and lock eyes with menacing stares.

This event is the best “value for the money” Halloween Haunted House event that you can hope to find. A lot of work goes into creating it, and I believe it is pretty much all volunteer. The hosts were very friendly and informative. The costumes were creative and I was surprised to see children in on the act too.I think it is every bit as scary as the Bates Motel. We were impressed that for just the price of $10 each, we got this much of a show. It was way more elaborate than I thought it would be considering the price and that they operate as a non-profit. Best part for me is that they lived within walking distance of my house! If you live anywhere near Bridgeport, mark this on your calendar for next year. Definitely worth the trip.

Moments before some ghouls pounded on the door.

Witches Ball–Mount Holly–10/08/2016

October 13, 2016 By Ben Reisman

Skeletons, witches and corpse brides are just a few things you will encounter if you come out to this interesting event which apparently has been around for about 15 years. From what I understand, this small-town, annual, early-October party grew unexpectedly from a small merchant-run event to the wild costume extravaganza that it is today.

Ive actually never seen anything quite like it. If you attend without a costume, you will definitely be in the minority. There are more people dressed up than not, and everything kind of happens outdoors.

There is no real indoor party…..I guess you could say that the central celebration zone consists of the sidewalks and shut-down streets of the Mill Race Village area of Mt Holly, NJ. After you’ve had a fill of the endless parade of costumed adults on the street, you could decide if you wanted to hang out in a beer tent, check out a local shop, restaurant or even chat with some on-scene paranormal investigators. Most local businesses keep their doors open to take advantage of the unusually massive crowd. Many shops embrace the spirit of the holiday with their own modest (or excessive at times) decorations.

For the most part we stuck to the outdoor scene although I was curious to investigate the Robin’s Nest Restaurant.

This restaurant is reportedly haunted, and really plays up the Halloween theme. As we walked along one of the streets, we came across a fire performer who did some daring maneuvers with various batons, palm torches and fiery hoop.

Aside from gawking at the costumed attendees, there is lots to see and do outside as various vendors, food trucks and performers line the streets.

The Witches Ball website mentions that this event is more for adults than for kids, and that some of the costumes can be on the revealing side. I guess from that description, one could picture a Mardi Gras experience, but it is pretty far from it. Sure, there is some cleavage here and there, but it is appropriately in-line with a classic medieval, gothic or renaissance type of image. In other words….no slutty witches or boob-flashing.

Its almost like a First Friday on steroids, and I get the impression there would have been way more attendees and vendors there if not for the steady all-day rain. I think its a great idea to have this sort of thing early in the month of October. I think there should be more of these all throughout the month, not just parties on Halloween alone.

Presiding over the Witch’s Ball

The Inn at Maple Grove–Alburtis, PA

September 27, 2016 By Ben Reisman

Once while thumbing through a book of ghost stories, I randomly came across a write up on this restaurant. There were many first-hand experiences from both workers and customers of unexplained happenings. Wondering whether the ghostly accounts of this printed piece from 30 years ago migrated into the social media world we know today, I decided to “Yelp it”. While I did not see any comments involving the place being haunted, a Google search quickly turned up a lot of websites describing paranormal experiences from years ago to the present. I found at least one reference to a resident ghost named “Charlie” on Trip Advisor.

The Inn is not exactly en route to anything. Its in a town called Alburtis. This name always eludes me as I try to recall where the hell this restaurant is. If you think in broad terms, it is somewhat near Potts Grove and Macungie. You would take the Quakertown exit from 476. If you are still drawing a blank, I can only say that Allentown was about 15 miles away.

The restaurant’s website is very blunt about claiming the place to be haunted. Right on the homepage they mention ghost stories and rumors of lingering spirits. Then if you check out the “History” tab, it gets even more interesting. Supposedly, years ago, an “Indian” was hung in the common area (interesting choice of words…..I don’t think I have referred to a Native-American as an Indian since I was 15). Then another guest was “murdered in a second-floor closet”. Not sure who did the copy for this website, but subtlety was definitely not their forte. These two horrific events are the logical explanation for the Inn’s haunting, but apparently there has never been a clear enough sighting or interaction to determine exactly who the ghost belongs to. Without any way to distinguish whether it is from the long-deceased Indian (their words not mine), or the poor, unfortunate guest who was murdered on the second floor……. the management simply opted to name him “Charlie”; a composite ghost. Charlie apparently harbors no resentment towards his untimely death as the website clarifies that he is friendly to all who stop at the Inn.
Upon arriving at the Inn with my girlfriend Kate, the haunted aspect seems to be somewhat downplayed. I guess you could say they sort of embrace their haunted reputation with a somewhat distorted looking image of the Charlie ghost on the front page of the menu, but there are no other overt props to suggest the place is haunted. The darkly-lit dining area might come off a little spooky to some people, but if you had no clue the place was haunted before you got there, you would probably be just as clueless when you left. That totally makes sense if your goal as a business is to be taken more seriously for the food you serve, as opposed to creating a sideshow for ghost searchers. While I didn’t exactly come for the food, I did enjoy my Chicken Olivia and would be happy to stop in again. Kate thought her meal was bland, but “not the worst she ever had”.

As mentioned earlier, the Inn is very dark (but not too dark). We enjoyed a table right beside the fireplace. Our waitress was very pleasant, which made it easy for me to dig for some ghost details. She had worked there for 20 years, and sure enough in that span of time she had experienced some weirdness. She said there have been moments where plates she was carrying with a firm grip had been flipped in the air, creating a cyclone of flying food splatter. At times, there are unexplained shadows moving across the dining area, which I thought was especially creepy. I think she mentioned some flickering lights. I was also impressed that she dug up some pictures of various Inn guests which revealed images that had no relation to the subjects. One picture of a boy waving showed an infant in the background which had no relevance to the guests there at the time. Another picture showed a smoky image commandeering the foreground, which resembled their Charlie ghost logo. In this case, smoke would have had no connection to the subject (a man standing behind the bar), or anything else going on at that time.

I was glad to fit this trip in before the busy slate of October horror craziness. Worth stopping by if you are in that area.